Celebrities are clearly anxious individuals. The thought of heading back to living in the real world of traffic jams and chopped up hot dogs for dinner must scare the crap out of them. Why else would they take out such huge insurance policies on their most valuable physical attributes?
This trend of insuring body parts has been in vogue since the era of silent movies, when some stars even had their trademark crossed-eyes or big noses insured because of their importance in their comedy routines! Sadly, there aren’t as many wacky policies in Hollywood these days, but there certainly are some insane ones – especially where gals are concerned. So let’s buckle up and dip into the top ten most insanely insured female celebrity body parts of all time.
10. Bette Davis’s Waist – $28,000
It must be said that Davis not only had an impeccable waist size, but also probably took out the cleverest insurance policy on this list. The details of the deal ensured that the wartime Hollywood star would be compensated if she expanded to any size beyond corset-safe. Money back for getting fat?! Roll out the chocolate ladies!
9. Dolly Parton’s Breasts – $600,000
Perky country and western singer and entrepreneur Dolly is well known for two things, and neither of them are her best-selling single, championing the workin’ girl’s laborious day shift. Her generous chest has been at the forefront (literally) of her career since she decided to have implants many moons ago, and in keeping with the spirit of getting her priorities right she had them insured for $600,000.
8. Betty Grable’s Legs – $1,000,000
An honorary mention on any list of crazy celebrity insurance policies must be made of ’40s pin-up Betty Grable. Not only was she was the first female celebrity to take out a policy on her legs, but in doing so she gave birth to the expression ‘million dollar legs’. She sparked a long tradition of this kind of insurance – probably the most popular kind in celebrity culture – when she had her supposedly ‘perfectly proportioned’ limbs protected to the value of a cool one mill’.
7. Marlene Dietrich’s Singing Voice – $1,000,000
German born American singer Dietrich was listed by the American Film Institute as the 9th Greatest Female Star Of All Time. Being best known for her ‘distinctive’ singing voice, she had it insured for $1m despite sounding like a gravel truck reversing into a dog pound. She was probably one of the earliest celebrities to have dabbled in the insurance craze, having been part of Hollywood when everything was still black and white, and any self respecting film had ten million song and dance routines.
6. Susana Alves’s Buttocks, Knees and Ankles – $2,000,000
Brazilian sex symbol and Playboy model Susana is so valued by the male population of her home country that she had a series of assets (no pun intended) insured for her by a company in exchange for her image being placed on their advertising billboards. Supposedly, insuring one’s butt is so popular in Brazil that the insurers there came up with a name for it: a bumbum policy!
5. Heidi Klum’s Legs – $2,200,000
German Supermodel Heidi Klum’s legs are certainly part of her appeal. Being a beautiful, tall, blonde model doesn’t really work if you haven’t got a set of long legs to uphold the whole ‘tall’ thing. Suitably, she had them insured. But there was a catch: the insurance company were happy to fork out $1.2m for her right leg, but would only agree to a paltry $1m for the other thanks to a ‘small scar on her left knee’. I guess what they say is true: no one’s perfect. Frankly it’s probably a little easier to believe if you look like Heidi.
4. America Ferrera’s Smile – $10,000,000
Ugly Betty is certainly known for her… interesting… grin, but surely she’d have been better using the money on a better dentist? Maybe I’m being a little harsh, but four seasons of brace wearing antics have not exactly set her smile straight, leaving her looking positively British. Still, it’s difficult to cry out ‘Snaggletooth!’ without feeling like a bitch when the move was, after all, made with such good intentions: an American dental company insured her pearls for her, to coincide with a US charity campaign.
3. Angela Mount’s Taste Buds – $15,000,000
Anyone worth their weight knows that all wine tastes the same. Well, there are variations: white, red, sour, sweet, nice, disgusting. So what on earth were British Wine Expert Angela Mount’s lawyers thinking when they agreed to this? She probably makes it up anyway. I’ve heard these people talk; they think wine tastes like peach and coriander and heaven knows what else. Either my taste buds are recessive or Mount is walking to the bank every day emitting a loud, evil laugh.
2. Jennifer Lopez’s Ass – $1,000,000,000
Okay, this entry is in fact only speculation, with rumors of J Lo’s derriere value being rebuked by her spokespeople time and time again. But let’s say for the sake of argument that it’s true (and there is evidence it may well be). Jennifer is almost as famous as her butt, doing for the babe-with-back what Tom Selleck did for the man-with-mustache back in the day. Having a big ass reputedly became so popular, thanks to the humble Girl From The Block, that a craze for buttock implants developed in the early 2000s.
1. Mariah Carey’s Legs – $1,000,000,000
Holy shit people. Yes, she’s popular, and yes, she has pins which any woman would die for. But $1bn? World renowned pop-songstress Mariah took out her audacious policy after signing a deal making her the face – or limb – of razor giant Gillette’s ‘Legs Of A Goddess’ campaign. Mariah is so successful that she is now second only to The Beatles in singles success. I can’t imagine Sir Paul ever taking out a similar policy, but Heather Mills certainly might have benefited from one…